I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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