hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
