Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
