Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
