i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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