Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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