I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize