they need to just BURY HIM!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize