Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
