i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
