we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
