I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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