even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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