I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
