I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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