Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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