Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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