Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
