That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
