you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
