I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize