Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
