Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
