Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
