i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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