Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
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