I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
