I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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