There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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