half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
