Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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