Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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