i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize