I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
