I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
