is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
