i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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