just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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