You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
