Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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