Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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