windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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