Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
