Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
