She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I want a musical about memes.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
