dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
