so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Four minutes until I can fart!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
