we have officially lost it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
