mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
