I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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