I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
