party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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