I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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