you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
