I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
