I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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