is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
