At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
