fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
