We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
